Sometimes my friends do these stupid things. And they're just so incredibly stupid that it completely makes me wonder whether this person has in fact been an idiot all along. It's kind of equivalent to knowingly running into a wall, head first, no protection.
Don't worry, we're all subject to these mistakes and I'm sure I've made a fair few myself.
This blog will be about compromising yourself, something which I think is so stupid it is like running head first into a wall.
Building up confidence is not an easy task. It is something that needs to be done constantly. It is not like you get to a certain level of confidence and then it's fine, you can put the lid on and it will all stay where it is.
No, confidence is something you have to work on. If you just leave it, it will disappear. It is constant reassuring and work. Let me clarify that; it is constant reassurance by you - not anyone else. If you build your confidence on anyone else, it is false confidence and the Big Bad Wolf will blow your straw house down just like that.
The same thing goes for you. To make yourself the person you want to be and to bring yourself to the truly amazing potential you have, you need to work on it. It is hard and it is most certainly a long, arduous process. It will not come for free and you are going to have to spend several hours questioning your positions and values.
However, what you shall never question is yourself. You, the core that makes you the person you are is meant to be there, and there are certain things that makes you the person you are, whether or not most people like it or not. Wear yourself with pride - pride in being you and pride in being amazing and unique.
Sure, there are certain attributes which are less attractive in people, and you might have to tone a few of them down. I sure have. Not easily, but through long reflection over who and I want to be, and, most importantly, who I do not want to be.
There is is a difference, though, between you and unwanted personality traits. If you know something about how you react to things, or how you handle different situations is bothering you, then it is an unwanted quality, unwanted being the key word here. That is where you need to focus your work.
That goes for everything. I, for instance, do not feel comfortable not speaking my mind to my friends. It is both good and evil, some appreciate it and some don't. Take it or leave it, I say, this is me.
When you start compromising those qualities that make you you, that's when we have a problem. When you start doing things that you don't feel entirely comfortable about, obviously with exceptions for getting out of your comfort zone, that's when you need to stop. To phrase it in another way; when you start acting like someone you don't recognise, that is when your internal alarm should sound off, painting capital letters in your head: DON'T GO HERE, THIS IS NOT YOU, YOU DO NOT LIKE THIS, STOP NOW!
When you start giving too much of yourself away, and you agree to things, not for you, but for other people, you compromise yourself. Sure, I realise that there are unselfish* petty deeds we all do to play nice, but these are not the ones I'm talking about here.
* (Personally, I believe that everything we do has a motive and serves a personal self-interest, but I will go along with that word for simplicity.)
When you start putting someone else in front of yourself, you are compromising yourself - you are stretching yourself thin. While it might sound noble and martyr-like, this is not a good thing!
For you, you should be most important. Not until you have learned that you are most important can you effectively help others. How can you possibly help others through times of hardship unless you can help yourself? How can you possibly love another if you cannot love yourself?
If you do not know yourself well enough to always stay true to yourself, to never compromise who you are, you will give pieces away of you. Every time you do something that goes against your character, you are giving that piece of you away, and it is a piece that will never come back. So if you are to do something, whatever it is, make sure that you can stand for it. Otherwise, someone is going to have to pick up those pieces at one point and reassemble them, but without the glue that is you, they will keep on falling apart until you are too fragmented to piece together. All you will have is a replica.
So for goodness sake, DO NOT RUN IN HEAD FIRST INTO A WALL!